Daniel Eran Dilger
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Dan Lyons, Paul Thurrott: the Fake and the Phony

Dan Lyons Paul Thurrott.001

Daniel Eran Dilger

Two notorious Microsoft shills, Dan Lyons and Paul Thurrott, have sunk to new lows of historical revisionism order to decry that “the media” is conspiring to uncritically fawn over a company other than the one they have uncritically fawned over as paid flacks over the last decade. They’re wrong, here’s why.
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Paul Thurrott and the Amiga.

Thurrott has lived the majority of his adult life bitter and angry about Apple. He started out his tech career as an Amiga fan. This is an important detail to consider because there was something about Commodore’s Amiga that attracted an intensely religious fervor that even Commodore’s death couldn’t extinguish.

For extremist nerds, the Amiga was Elvis, Jesus, alien abduction, heroine, the Qur’an, and the Klingon language all wrapped up into one product and branded with a name that suggested the idea of having a hot Spanish girlfriend: a life changing, unforgettable fantasy that had to be aggressively advocated until death.

Amiga was a Mac that was cheaper than the Mac, and it had some cool nerdery hardware that set it apart on a technical level, even if it didn’t look as sharp. This made Apple the natural enemy of Amiga fans, because religious devotees hate nothing more than a stronger, smarter, and more popular alternative to their own deity, particularly when they can clearly see that their god is the only true god and that all alternatives are phony heretical impostors that deserve a painful death.

Despite the fact that the two companies didn’t every really directly compete, when Apple outlasted Commodore, certain Amiga fans vowed revenge upon Apple in a blood pact of hatred that could never be overcome. Like many Amiga devotes, Thurrott channeled his intense hatred for Apple into Windows advocacy in the mid 90s, thinking that only the death of Apple at Microsoft’s hands could atone for the company’s sin in outlasting the Amiga. I am, of course, not making any of this stuff up.

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SCO, Linux, and Microsoft in the History of OS: 1980s
Microsoft’s Plot to Kill QuickTime

Amiga Replacement Therapy as a Windows Enthusiast.

Over the next half decade, Apple’s squirming torture in the hell created by the spread of Windows fed Thurrott like a loving mother. He celebrated every word uttered by the man he always referred to as “the Chairman and Chief Executive Officer of Microsoft,” Bill Gates. Year after year, Gates would introduce some ridiculous product idea destined for failure, and Thurrott would write about it as if it were magical manna from heaven that would poison remaining Mac heretics to death.

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Innovation: Apple at Macworld vs Microsoft at CES

However, around 2004 something horrible happened to Thurrott’s comfortable world of nursing at the bosom of Microsoft; Steve Jobs’ Apple began to gain traction in areas where Microsoft was flailing out of control. Microsoft’s plans to dominate music and other digital media with Windows Media DRM began to unravel as Apple built itself a competent foundation with the iPod and iTunes. Microsoft’s Longhorn operating system turned into a joke even as Mac OS X started being taken seriously.

Windows 95 and Vista: Why 2007 Won’t Be Like 1995
Windows Vista, 7, and Singularity: The New Copland, Gershwin

Previously, Microsoft had been so isolated from any real competition that the company’s failures were exempt from criticism. Microsoft had been held afloat by a servile tech media like the Supreme Soviet in the pages of Pravda: no amount of failure could possibly matter because there were no other valid alternatives to even consider. The official advice: it’s best to just wait and see how the supreme commanders would solve the problems they caused.

Soviet Microsoft: Stockholm Soviet Microsoft: How Resistance to Free Markets and Open Ideas
Syndrome Among Unswitchable Windows Users

When Microsoft released slow software, the potential for faster hardware was offered as a solution. When Microsoft delivered products full of security holes, performance-sapping layers of anti-virus diapers were presented as the remedy. When unworkably absurd levels of DRM were issued by the company as the future of digital media playback, passive acceptance was enthusiastically recommended by Windows Enthusiasts, including Thurrott himself of course.

Zune vs. iPhone: Five Phases of Media Coverage

The Jehad upon Apple

Thurrott and his compatriots of Microsoft Apologists found it increasingly difficult to maintain their devoted ideology once Microsoft started looking ridiculous in direct comparison to Apple, a much smaller company with a fraction of Microsoft’s resources. Thurrott first sought to console his readers with the idea that Apple could never matter because of its limited size in terms of the worldwide market share of all PCs and server products. He simply begged people to ignore the company.

WWDC Secrets Paul Thurrott Hopes You Miss

When Apple became impossible to ignore by encroaching into markets that represented the holy territory granted by god to Microsoft, Thurrott began posing as an Apple user so he could less threateningly communicate his great displeasure with every aspect of the company’s products. One of the most troubling problems with Apple products, Thurrott the Phony complains, is that the company doesn’t use its products to sell Microsoft’s. One example is that MobileMe doesn’t sync with Windows Vista Calendar; of course, that’s actually because Vista’s Calendar doesn’t yet work yet. Not even Microsoft can sync with it.

While complaining about Apple’s products as a phony fan, Thurrott also takes every opportunity to castigate a phony, invented stereotype of Mac users as worshipers of Steve Jobs who never complain and eat up the company’s products like brainwashed zombies. Of course, anyone who has ever stumbled upon a Mac-centric web page knows that Mac users are really the biggest bunch of unsatisfiable complainers ever. And while they may sometimes acknowledge a respect for Jobs’ style and contributions, they’re quick to tease, question, accuse, or even sue the company’s executive whenever a hat drops.

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Paul Thurrott’s Merciless Attack on Artie MacStrawman

The Mirror Attack.

Thurrott the Phony’s schtick is difficult to maintain for years on end, so Thurrott has lately put into use the most devastating weapon from the toolbox of disgruntled ideological losers: take everything bad about yourself and your ideology and blame it upon whatever entity you despise. Suddenly, it is somehow Apple, not Microsoft, which is the media-coddled darling despite having no real accomplishments to warrant it.

And it is Steve Jobs, not Bill Gates, who has been deified and worshipped as a golden god by a reverent audience of followers, Thurrott insists. In contrast, he maintains, it is Microsoft that is the victim of lies and propaganda attacks. There was nothing wrong with Vista, or Windows Media DRM, or SPOT watches, or Windows CE, or the Zune, or the company’s terrible marketing, or the Xbox 360’s Red Ring of Death and its spontaneous fires.

Those problems were all fictions invented by the all powerful media to hurt the good guys at Microsoft and propel forward unremarkable products from Apple, products that are only popular because of the company’s mind control advertisements, which are really all lies that no one can see through apart from him and his Windows Enthusiast scribes.

Paul Thurrott calls Apple “the Bad Guys” of Microsoft’s $300 campaign

The Phony Loves the Fake.

Thurrott isn’t the only one to happen upon this vast conspiracy of liberal media elitism. He was recently delighted to find a similar mindset emanating from Fake Steve Jobs blogger Dan Lyons, the man who for years defended Microsoft and SCO and vilified open source, Linux, and IBM’s support for the otherwise defenseless volunteers who wrote the open code that dared compete against the Redmond monopolist. Lyon’s support for SCO and contempt for Linux was so intense that he found new adoration from the equally phony Rob Enderle.

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Daniel Lyons: Fake Steve Jobs and the SCO Shill Who Hated Linux

After SCO was exposed as a lying bunch of worthless scammers, Lyons moved on to a secret gig lampooning Apple’s CEO in an often comical blog. At the same time, his Fake Steve Jobs character always seemed to utter Microsoft talking points at just the time Microsoft wanted them talked about. Later, writing as an ostensibly real journalist, Lyons wrote enthusiastically about a box of Media Center gear Microsoft shipped to his house to review, carefully ignoring any flaws while weaving in scathing contempt for the competitive offerings from Apple.

Forbes’ Fake Steve Jobs Is Also Fake On Apple
Ten Myths of Leopard: 10 Leopard is a Vista Knockoff

The Fake now insists that he halted his Fake Steve Jobs column out of respect for Jobs’ health condition, not because his fifteen minutes of fame (and corporate sponsorship) had been exhausted. At the same time, he continues his speculative autopsy of Jobs in the role of a “journalist,” desperately trying to find ways to profit from lurid stabs into Jobs’ personal life before the man can recover. Most recently, the Fake has instigated a campaign to vilify Jobs for expressing too much optimism about his own health, and subsequently taking a break to focus on recovery after finding it necessary to do so.

The Fake has styled himself as a fearless whistleblower for calling Apple’s PR team “liars” and denouncing Jobs’ attempts to recover faster than his condition allowed, writing “the last six months have been the most outrageous example of the reality distortion field I’ve ever seen.” Outrageous, really? When members of the press make such ridiculous accusations about nothing, it only serves to erase the credibility and impact of the media when it says something important.

Additionally, prior to the eruption of a gaggle of book writing phonies that churned out books about Jobs that all purported to offer some deep insight into the man, but really only perpetuated tired stereotypes invented to create a vilified legend, the phrase “reality distortion field” was coined by Jobs’ employees to describe his ability to encourage them to do the impossible by challenging their notions of what they could accomplish. RDF has since become a derisive term suggesting evil mind control, thanks to these hacks with no perspective and less imagination, who have never accomplished much on their own besides bending the truth in their books in order to make things sound more entertaining and dramatic in predictable ways.

Like Thurrott the Phony, the Lyons the Fake also takes everything bad about himself and blames it upon the entity he despises. The Fake says Steve Jobs is an out of control, lying, emotional child prone to tantrums. At least that’s the idea he intended to suggest on CNBC recently, as he attempted to scream over the top of other speakers in fervent outbursts of unprofessionalism. Apple, he insisted, only wants to deal with journalists who aren’t scathing, prejudicial hacks out to vilify the company and its products. The nerve of the company! It should be handing favors to Microsoft shills just as Microsoft does.

Daniel Lyons Cries Wolf: The Real Bill Gates Behind the Fake Steve Jobs

The War on Rational Thought.

The Fake and the Phony are only echoing (rather ineffectually) the last gasp of another band of losers: the religious right neocons. Lyons’ self-affiliation with this group of ideological failures, who continue to make up roughly a third of the US voting population, was highlighted in the Fake’s assertion that “in the eyes of the media, Apple is the corporate equivalent of Barack Obama—a company that can do no wrong.”

Warning, yikes link: Rotten Reporting – Paul Thurrott SuperSite Blog

That extreme of an outlandish, unashamedly disingenuous claim would make even the worst ten dictators of the past century blush. When has the media given either Apple or Obama a free pass? And is this in contrast to Microsoft and outgoing President Bush, who have been apparently nailed to the cross by an aggressively critical, truth seeking press in some alternative universe? With that line, the Phony Dan Lyons has lost any shred of credibility he may have still had.

Even the most devoted Windows Enthusiast would have to admit that Microsoft was never seriously criticized in the media through a decade of criminally anticompetitive behavior and embarrassingly shoddy products. Only when Apple got its game plan together and began systematically embarrassing the company did anyone ever meekly point out that perhaps Microsoft’s offerings were not quite as good in some areas. And all the while, the tech media complained about niggles in the iPod, echoed the sentiment that despite its product quality Apple faced poor chances, worried about the iPhone’s $2000 price tag compared to $99 phones, and regularly cited Rob Enderle’s pessimistic outlooks for the company. It’s all there in the Internet Archive, folks.

Similarly, it is just absurd to a ridiculous extent to suggest that Obama has been given a special exemption from criticism when he was repeatedly badgered for knowing a man with a anarchist youth activism past, or having ties to a church where an angry cleric ranted criticism of the country, or being too physically fit to lead a nation a fat asses, or having too little experience, or being too closely related to people with a non-Christian religion, or being associated with a land deal attached to shady friends.

What an Obama Presidency Means for Technology
Obama-Biden, McCain-Palin: Scandals by the Numbers

What Apple and Obama share is a respect from those who have examined their accomplishments and vision. That’s not fake or phony, it’s real. Microsoft and Bush are not victims of a critical media, they have merely destroyed their own reputations through a pattern of illegal and often incompetent behavior, something that occasionally ends up getting passively reported. This is not a partisan or biased ideology, it’s facts based on the events that have occurred over the past decade.

Fair and balanced reporting is not the art of making the world appear equal and non-controversial. It is reporting things that are wrong, and reporting things that are right. It is not done by comparing events to a list of ideological concepts to determine which events should be reported and for how long, but rather in presenting all the facts without an agenda. By this measure, the Fake and the Phony have failed miserably. When they lie about themselves and everything they’ve stated in the past ten years, and try to flip reality on its back to insist that up is down and black is white, they only beg to be ignored.

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  • GQB

    @stefn
    If you want your dose of Rand-speak, its over at Appleinsider on the Microsoft anti-monopoly article thread.
    http://forums.appleinsider.com/showthread.php?s=&threadid=94341
    Moniker ‘use-reason’… has his Ayn-theasurus working overtime.

  • Maverick18x

    You know, I should have stopped reading you when you stole my ideas for two articles and didn’t credit me, but I figured I’d give you the benefit of the doubt.

    Your schizophrenic connection between Microsoft and the other “band of losers: the religious right neocons” has me packing my bags and going to get my tech news elsewhere. You’re just as bad as the people you slam.

  • John E

    Bye-bye.

  • airmanchairman

    The Thurrots and Lyons of the tech world, when appearing to praise Apple products, are usually employing a poisonous tactic much favoured by British politicians and used to devastating effect against adversaries – “damnation with faint praise”.

    I was more of a devotee of the rival camp to the Amiga, that of the more musically-capable Atari ST, though the Amiga’s clear superiority in the graphics realm was conceded. It must be said, a lot of the ST users I know considered it to be the “poor man’s Mac” (we even had a hack that used Apple OS ROM chips to emulate the Mac desktop!).

    It also wouldn’t be a stretch to say that the Atari management, like the Amiga’s, were more to blame for the demise of such a promising platform than the rise and rise of the PC, or the dogged survival of the Mac.

  • dizzle

    @GQB

    Randians are necessarily libertarians. Some would say they are, some would say they are not. However, I think use-reason’s posts on that thread made sense. How in the freak can something that is free be a monopoly. I hate Microsoft’s products intensely but I am coming to the conclusion that in some instances they got screwed by this whole “bad, bad monopoly” business. I am covering the Psystar case extensively and the entitlement mentality of Psystar is making me want to vomit.

  • dizzle

    There you go. You did it. I thought about that entitlement mindset and soiled my keyboard. Thanks.

  • gus2000

    It is not Internet Explorer that is a monopoly, but the operating system of Windows. Simply being a monopoly is not illegal, but it is illegal to use the monopoly power abusively. This is why there’s nothing wrong with bundling Safari in OS X, since there is no monopoly power for Apple to wield. Microsoft uses their monopoly power to spread IE, which they seed with proprietary rendering engines in an attempt to create de-facto “standards” that promote their other products. Open standards for internet delivery of content is a requirement for real innovation and growth, which of course threatens the status quo.

  • dizzle

    Yet despite all that free browsers abounded and designers and users were free to use them and to refuse to use Internet Destroyer’s sucky rendering. Real innovation happens when there is a moderate babysitting role of government. The Clayton and the Sherman Acts probably have done more to stifle real innovation than any other laws. The problem is that times have changed and while they may have been great in their heyday, they are obsolete to today. People can choose not to use Windows. No one is forcing them to use it. I chose not to. When I was a Windows user, I never used IE, I used Firefox. In fact I still do as I don’t like Safari either. I also choose to not even bother to test my sites with IE instead putting a disclaimer to go get a non-sucky browser and then we can talk.

    While I am certainly NOT a Randian (for one I reject her soulless atheistic worldview and narcissism and her perverted sexual fantasies), I believe her books made a lot of sense in some areas. Atlas Shrugged sounds like some of the crap that is bandied about today. It seems every 75 years or so we have to flirt with socialism to find out it sucks again.

  • gabon

    Maverick18x:

    Yeah! You tell it! Not only was Dan’s connection between Microsoft and the other “band of losers: the religious right neocons” schizophrenic… It was also imaginary, since he was comparing DAN LYONS & PAUL THURROTT to “the religious right neocons”, not Microsoft.

    Which is a valid analogy, because whether they’re cynically self-aware liars or just genuinely delusional, there’s a vast chasm seperating both parties from reality.

    Speaking of reality, the version of this article you read must have been from an alternate one, so excuse me while I doubt your claims that Dan has been “stealing your ideas”. Schizophrenic, who?

    Anyway, I’ve got a legit bone to pick with Dan: I wish he’d stop referring to certain people as “religious right neocons”, because A. they don’t stand for the conservation of anything beyond their own political power, and B. they don’t stand for the religion they laughably claim to abide by(“WWJD? Take freedom away from his people, take everything he can from the poor, and BOMB THEM TOWELHEADS RIGHT BACK TO THE STONEAGE! YEEEHAAAW! USA! USA!”)

    They are phony conservatives, and fake Christians at best. It pisses me off to no end that the rightwing extremist fringe has managed to engrain this “conservative religious” BS about themselves so deeply into popculture that even people like Dan pass it along without really questioning it.

  • stefn

    GBQ
    Thanks for the link. On the other side of reality from the fraud of libertarianism, reading through some of inaugural speeches, I am struck by how often US presidents (including both Truman and Reagan) have echoed this sentiment from Jefferson 1:

    … Would the honest patriot … abandon a government which has so far kept us free and firm on the theoretic and visionary fear that this Government, the world’s best hope, may by possibility want energy to preserve itself? I trust not. I believe this, on the contrary, the strongest Government on earth. I believe it the only one where every man, at the call of the law, would fly to the standard of the law, and would meet invasions of the public order as his own personal concern. Sometimes it is said that man can not be trusted with the government of himself. Can he, then, be trusted with the government of others? Or have we found angels in the forms of kings to govern him? Let history answer this question.

    And history has.

  • edtech

    How about an article about how Windows 7 is really Vista SP2. The sinister thing is that by calling it a new OS release instead of an SP2, Microsoft can get everyone to pay for it (again) instead of making it a free download. Microsoft gets a new chance at remarketing the same product while getting people to pay for it again. Sinisterly brilliant.

    Other sites (Information Week) have done the kernal and thread analysis and have come to the conclusion that Win7 exhibits the characteristics of a service pack not a new version of an OS (by comparing kernel process and threads in previous versions of Windows realeases) but to head off the bad mountain of bad publicity, Microsoft just gave its Vista SP2 a new name and began charging for it.

    Now all businesses and individuals will have to pony up for this bug fix to reap its stability and speed improvements. Kind of like what XP sp2 did for Win XP.

    Why isn’t anyone outraged that Microsoft is charging for this SP2 bug fix? Why is everyone buying the line that it is a completely new OS?

  • iBill

    I was enjoying the article until it meandered into the political and religious arena.

    Count me among those readers of this blog who are turned off by the politics.

  • Pingback: Dan Lyons, Paul Thurrott: the Fake and the Phony — RoughlyDrafted Magazine | Michaels Blog()

  • Joel

    “Why isn’t anyone outraged that Microsoft is charging for this SP2 bug fix?”

    Because Microsoft have got away with it twice before…? Win 9x -> Me, and Windows 2000 to Windows Xp…? :D

    Because once you drink the Microsoft Kool-aid you believe anything…? Microsoft innovate…! Microsoft have a reliable console…! Microsoft always release software with the end-user in mind…!

    Not sure, but all my technical friends and all the technical blogs / sites I read have all said “Oh look Windows 7 is really Vista.1″…?

  • Mike V.

    Enjoyed the article. It’s kind of getting back to ‘old school’ RDM that I took a liking to, though I wish the politics were left out. I suppose it’s fitting, as the other pundits brought it in first. The only correction that I believe should be made is that the necons and religious right don’t exactly fit hand-and-hand. The religious right were co-opted by the neocons who, themselves, originated from the Democratic Party. They were Democrats, of a war breed, that found a large, new constituency by beating the Bible. Obviously, the majority of uninformed evangelicals were swooned by the message of hyper-God. And nothing that George H.W. or George W. could be faulted. This will be no different than with an Obama presidency. The majority that voted for him are, like the evangelicals, living with hyperinflated asses, hyperinflated credit card debt, and watching American Idol, instead of reading this. So it should be taken with a certain amount of concern whoever the majority of people vote for, given the number of incorrect choices they make in their daily lives. As time will show again and again, the jock, be him your Bush or Obama, will be voted in and show us the true meaning of the Reality Distortion Field, while the nerd, be him your Nader, Paul, Gravel, Kucinich, or McKinney, will be ignored and left shaking his or her head at the self-destruction of a nation. After all, more people have needlessly died in the name of a faith (1st Place) or government (2nd Place).

    @Joel… Agreed 100%. I particularly love The Inquirer’s reference of Windows 7 as being Windows MeII Service Pack 4 :)

  • gus2000

    Let me tell you about Annie Schubert. She bought a Dell PC for college, and all she needed to do was get on the internet, and have Microsoft Word. Her broadband install disk puked, and Word was nowhere to be found. “Oh noes, Dell ripped me off, I will call the TV station to run a story and warn people.”

    Of course, the problem was that she was using Ubuntu, and had no idea how to setup TCP/IP or use OpenOffice.

    Is this the type of people that are supposed to read reviews of browsers and make informed decisions? I do, and you probably do, but most people don’t. They stick with what is installed.

    The same with the OS. Consumers will use what the PC had installed, or they will return it. When they want a new OS, they get a new PC. Windows is not a “choice”. It is a lack of options.

  • Joel

    I feel this says more about College Students and their education/motivations than anything technical. I also feel sorry for her when she graduates and people search for her name on the Internet…

  • dizzle

    @edtech

    >>> How about an article about how Windows 7 is really Vista SP2. The sinister thing is that by calling it a new OS release instead of an SP2, Microsoft can get everyone to pay for it (again) instead of making it a free download. Microsoft gets a new chance at remarketing the same product while getting people to pay for it again. Sinisterly brilliant.

    Other sites (Information Week) have done the kernal and thread analysis and have come to the conclusion that Win7 exhibits the characteristics of a service pack not a new version of an OS (by comparing kernel process and threads in previous versions of Windows realeases) but to head off the bad mountain of bad publicity, Microsoft just gave its Vista SP2 a new name and began charging for it.

    Now all businesses and individuals will have to pony up for this bug fix to reap its stability and speed improvements. Kind of like what XP sp2 did for Win XP.

    Why isn’t anyone outraged that Microsoft is charging for this SP2 bug fix? Why is everyone buying the line that it is a completely new OS?>>>

    Do you have links to back this up? It isn’t that I don’t believe you. It sounds like Microsoft to me. I would like to read about it. Thanks.

  • Joel

    One good starting point would be http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Comparison_of_Microsoft_Windows_versions

    Vista is “NT 6.1”, Windows Server 2008 is “NT 6.0.6001”. Windows 7 is “NT 6.1”. The most authoritative way to discover this is to download Windows 7 and look in the about box. Of course, Microsoft have their own spin on this, but if it was truly a different os, why would they label it 6.1 internally…?

    See : http://windowsteamblog.com/blogs/windowsvista/archive/2008/10/14/why-7.aspx?PageIndex=3

  • edtech

    Sorry, I misspoke. It was actually an article in InfoWorld.com, not Information Week that did the Windows 7 Kernel and thread analysis and came to the conclusion that Windows 7 is not much more than a minor variant of Vista when compared to the historical jumps in kernal/thread complexity in Windows OS versions of the past. Here is the link:
    http://www.infoworld.com/article/08/11/10/46TC-windows-7_1.html

  • dizzle

    @edtech and Joel

    thanks for the links!

  • swim2383

    I agree with elean, with the exception of these personal rants you have a great blog.

    I’m surprised you can’t recognize your own “Apple Can Do No Wrong” mantra.

    [ When Apple does wrong I point it out. What you seem to dislike is the fact that Apple rarely misfires. I think my views align better with reality than Microsoft’s pundits. When Apple begins to copy Microsoft, I’ll have two companies to complain about. That will be a sad day. – Dan ]

  • http://home.comcast.net/~daguy daGUY

    Dan,

    I love your site, but you’ve lost me on this one. I don’t understand how you can swing back and forth between extremely factual, informative, unbiased technical articles (which I think are among the best in the field), and then pieces like this, where you engage in petty squabbles and name-calling.

    Stuff like this just further feeds the stereotypes of Mac and PC users and encourages flame wars. And calling people things like “The Fake” rather than using real names just brings you down to the level of the people you’re criticizing!

    I read this site often, but I also listen to Windows Weekly with Paul Thurrott. Ironically, this article complaining about Thurrott is more inflammatory than anything I’ve actually heard him say. For instance, he frequently praises the iPhone and talks about what a disaster Windows Mobile is – that doesn’t sound like the “uncritical fawning” that you accuse him of.

    If you’re going to criticize people like Thurrott, I’d like to see direct quotes with a link to the source so we can actually see what he’s saying specifically that you have such an issue with.

    Again, I love your technical pieces (like the ones on AppleInsider), but I can’t understand how or why you then reduce yourself to this level. For someone who writes so factually and brilliantly otherwise, it makes no sense to me. I hope it’s not just to generate hits…

  • http://home.comcast.net/~daguy daGUY

    Case in point – I just read your Windows 7 vs. Mac OS X article, and it’s excellent! The historical overview is interesting, and you make it so clear *why* things are the way they are now. More of that please!

  • http://johnsessays.blogspot.com John Muir

    @daGUY

    Well, you could always just be selective about what you choose to read. This article (like all those you’re talking about) doesn’t hide what it’s about right up there in the title.

    See something you don’t like: consider skipping it. Just saying. ;)

  • dizzle

    @daGUY

    case in point. Thurrott’s completely retarded live Keynote blogging.

    * “So… iPhoto 09 has features that Facebook, WinLive Photos/Photo Gallery, and Picasa have had for months. That’s what I’m seeing here right?”
    * “So … iMovie 09 fixes the wrongs of iMovie 08. Good. But who EDITS video, really? And this is the 2nd of three new products he’s showing?”
    * “And speaking of applications targetting a seriously niche audience … GarageBand. 09. Oh my.”
    * “There’s nothing like playing to an overly-friendly house. You can get copious applause just by showing up.”
    * “Yep. I expect the NYT to trumpet Apple’s “invention” of photo face detection any moment now.”
    * “Oh, i see … iLife was product #1. iWork is #2. They still make iWork? :) JK”
    * “What kills me about apple: They have 1 year to prepare for macworld. and iLife is *still* not ready to ship today. Late Jan.? What the heck?”
    * “Aside from iPhoto, every product they’ve shown today is cool but limited in audience scope. Why do they focus so much on things noone uses?”
    * “Case in point. Keynote. For those people who a) use Macs and b) give presentations. This is a seriously limited audience.”
    * “Actual comment from random Apple live blog: It will show your slide and your notes – VERY COOL APP!”
    * “Um, right. That’s what presentation programs DO. :) Geesh.”
    * “Actually, I should apologize. Pages makes Keynote look like a best-seller by comparison. :)”
    * “Mac Box Set is a good idea: Leopard, iLife 09, and iWork 09 for $169. Microsoft should bundle like that. Oh, wait.”
    * “iWork.com should be about as useful as Zune to Zune music sharing. In fact, there are probalby more Zune users than iWork users. Nevermind.”
    * “And I was just thinking that we needed another Google Docs/Acrobat.com/Office Live. :)”
    * “[crosses fingers] And please tell me iwork.com is based on me.com technology :)”
    * “Apple guys will always buy the Apple stuff, even when free things are out there. They’re just wired that way”
    * “And the final cherry on top of iWork.com: you will have to pay for it. Thank you Apple. I was looking for another way to shovel money at you”
    * “#3 – new Macbook Pro”
    * “17-inch MacBook Pro that is. I wonder if that means no new Mini?”
    * “And does that mean no Snow Leopard discussion? No DRM-free music at iTunes?”
    * “[crosses fingers again] I hope they show another unibody manufacturing video!”
    * “One last thing … iTunes”
    * “BTW, it’s “one MORE thing” Phil. :)”
    * “Apple folds on variable pricing. That actually is kind of a shock. It’s also what they should have done years ago.”
    * “My guess: Variable pricing was a requirement in order for Apple to get DRM-free music. I guess they’re not omnipotent after all.”
    * “Yep: By end of Q1, all 10 million songs on iTunes will be DRM free. I’m guessing they won’t be MP3, however.”
    * “Final recap on Macworld. Mostly “eh”. Exception: Battery on new 17-in MBP is interesting, unless they start catching on fire 2 mos from now.”

    ipse loquiter

  • WebManWalking

    6 of one, half a dozen of the other. There’s a certain economy to metonymy. If the whole purpose of an article is to call someone a liar, it’s convenient not to have to say “and that was a lie too” at every turn. In other words, if you’re going to commit to tarring someone, why not feather them too?

  • WebManWalking

    Since a couple of posts came along in between, I should clarify: My previous post was at daGUY on “The Fake” etc.

  • http://home.comcast.net/~daguy daGUY

    @Dizzle: yes, Paul definitely holds different opinions than Dan does, or than you or I do, but nothing I see there is so over-the-top that it deserves this lengthy, petty argument/name-calling from Dan.

    He’s allowed to be disappointed in what Apple showed! I was too, for that matter – upgrades to iLife and iWork that were pretty much expected, and then the 17″ MBP which Apple had already said back in October would be coming in the near future. The only really big thing from my point of view was DRM-free iTunes. Overall, it was pretty blah for a keynote.

    I just don’t see what point articles like this one serve, other than to generate pageviews and comments.

  • dizzle

    @daGUY you asked for an example. I am certainly not going to sift through Paul’s stuff to show you he has earned this reputation for a reason. Having more experience with Lyons, that is what interested me more. So nothing there so over the top eh? Well let’s see. It was once giant snarky turd.

    * “So… iPhoto 09 has features that Facebook, WinLive Photos/Photo Gallery, and Picasa have had for months. That’s what I’m seeing here right?”

    >>>>and Paul would have whined if it didn’t have it. Some companies get to some technology first. No one even has the product yet to know if it is significantly better than those other offerings. The comment was snark for snark’s sake. IF Apple ever releases a Netbook, will Paul just moan on how other people have already had that? Probably. But remember, there were phones before the iPhone. There were mp3 players before the iPod. His comment is beyond inane.

    * “So … iMovie 09 fixes the wrongs of iMovie 08. Good. But who EDITS video, really? And this is the 2nd of three new products he’s showing?”

    >>>characterizing what Phil said about iMovie is that well is again just petty snark. With Paul its damned if you do, damned if you don’t. Apple made a radical switch to make editing easier with 08, as a first gen step it is bound to improved upon. That is not “fixing the problems,” it is listening to what customers want. The people who had “problems” with it are not the people who should be using iMovie to begin with but should step up into something prosumer such as Final Cut Express. It would be like me whining that the Nancy Drew books have problems because they are too childish for me. They are perfect for a child.

    * “And speaking of applications targetting a seriously niche audience … GarageBand. 09. Oh my.”

    >>>Again another nonsense snark. Niche markets don’t count? And Paul, welcome to reality, a great many Mac users use Garage Band. Mac users make a disproportionately large share of the podcasting community. And people wanting to learn how to play instruments? But then again this is Paul who actually said “who edits video anyways?” Is he smoking crack? Grandmas are editing video now.

    * “There’s nothing like playing to an overly-friendly house. You can get copious applause just by showing up.”

    >>>More snark. I was there. There was applause where appropriate but not the image that Paul is painting and insinuating that Phil didn’t deserve it. Filler passive-aggressive snark.

    * “Yep. I expect the NYT to trumpet Apple’s “invention” of photo face detection any moment now.”

    >>> Well has it? Nope.

    * “Oh, i see … iLife was product #1. iWork is #2. They still make iWork? :) JK”

    >>>What was the point of that? iWork only came out last year. The “JK” doesn’t hide the stupid malice behind the comment.

    * “What kills me about apple: They have 1 year to prepare for macworld. and iLife is *still* not ready to ship today. Late Jan.? What the heck?”

    >>>Umm Paul, how long was Vista delayed and it still sucked? Apple is working on more things than just iLife, the criticism is petty, and this type of crap is one reason Apple is pulling out of Macworld. They have their own schedule which doesn’t include pooping something out of their anuses to satisfy the Thurrott’s of the world every January.

    * “Aside from iPhoto, every product they’ve shown today is cool but limited in audience scope. Why do they focus so much on things noone uses?”

    >>OMG, I am stupider just reading this. Can you possibly take that statement seriously?

    * “Case in point. Keynote. For those people who a) use Macs and b) give presentations. This is a seriously limited audience.”

    >>>Case in point of Paul’s idiocy. It is freakin’ Macworld. Automatically the products are Mac products at the Keynote, you freakin’ dork. And I am sorry if the typical Windows user doesn’t get so “techy” as to use presentation software, but Mac users are well known for their great use and love of Keynote. In fact, there are people who switched simply because of Keynote. Paul is either ignorant or being purposely obtuse.

    * “Actual comment from random Apple live blog: It will show your slide and your notes – VERY COOL APP!”
    * “Um, right. That’s what presentation programs DO. :) Geesh.”

    >>>What a friggin’ moron. Keynote is adding something that current presentation programs do not do in that fashion.

    * “Actually, I should apologize. Pages makes Keynote look like a best-seller by comparison. :)”

    >>>Since they are sold together, that is again retarded.

    * “Mac Box Set is a good idea: Leopard, iLife 09, and iWork 09 for $169. Microsoft should bundle like that. Oh, wait.”

    >>>Useless snark.

    * “iWork.com should be about as useful as Zune to Zune music sharing. In fact, there are probalby more Zune users than iWork users. Nevermind.”

    >>Does Paul have any figures on iWork’s success or lack thereof?

    * “And I was just thinking that we needed another Google Docs/Acrobat.com/Office Live. :)”
    * “[crosses fingers] And please tell me iwork.com is based on me.com technology :)”

    >>>mobile me was rushed out like Paul thinks iLife should have been. It was seriously screwed up in the beginning, and Apple even said so, and I ended up with three free months. What is Paul’s problem with mobile me now? I have no problems, and apparently Microsoft thinks the idea is good enough to do a knock-off.

    * “Apple guys will always buy the Apple stuff, even when free things are out there. They’re just wired that way”

    >>Sweeping generalization. I don’t. In fact, one reason I still virtualize is because I prefer some of my Windows programs.

    * “And the final cherry on top of iWork.com: you will have to pay for it. Thank you Apple. I was looking for another way to shovel money at you”

    >>And I am sure Microsoft’s Skydaddynet will be free.

    * “#3 – new Macbook Pro”
    * “17-inch MacBook Pro that is. I wonder if that means no new Mini?”
    * “And does that mean no Snow Leopard discussion? No DRM-free music at iTunes?”
    * “[crosses fingers again] I hope they show another unibody manufacturing video!”

    >>> it is hard to know whether he is serious, but I suspect he is making fun of the fact that they showed a very cool manufacturing video. Poor Paul, he just has to make fun, it would kill him not to.

    *“One last thing … iTunes”
    * “BTW, it’s “one MORE thing” Phil. :)”

    >>So Phil can’t be Phil?

    * “Apple folds on variable pricing. That actually is kind of a shock. It’s also what they should have done years ago.”

    >>We have no idea what happened in the negotiations, and it was Apple who championed the idea of DRM-free reasonably priced music. Just an idiotic jab.

    * “My guess: Variable pricing was a requirement in order for Apple to get DRM-free music. I guess they’re not omnipotent after all.”
    >>filler snark

    * “Yep: By end of Q1, all 10 million songs on iTunes will be DRM free. I’m guessing they won’t be MP3, however.”

    >>that might actually be a useful comment, so I have no comment

    * “Final recap on Macworld. Mostly “eh”. Exception: Battery on new 17-in MBP is interesting, unless they start catching on fire 2 mos from now.”

    >>He couldn’t just let it be. So no PCs not made by Apple have had battery problems? It is the nature of the beast.

    As far as “eh” – that wasn’t the problem. In case you haven’t notice daGUY most Keynotes are “eh” – even ones done by Steve.

    So there you go daGUY. Now before you go complain that all I do is pretty much write snark against Microsoft, you’re right. But I admit it openly up front, and my blog is a satire blog where I make fun of the fanaticism of Mac users, including myself. I don’t make a pretense there of unbiased reporting except in rare cases in which I state it upfront. Paul is not writing a satire blog. This is just juvenille crap from someone who is supposed to be writing professionally.

  • dizzle

    Hey why stop while I am on a role. How about this crap from Paul”

    ***Hell on earth
    OK, I’m just kidding. But someone has created a MySpace for … Apple fanatics. So now you can go to one place that combines nauseating site design with jackbooted fanaticism. It’s like multitasking, kind of. :)

    The MySpace for the rest of us (Steve will call, but we’ll be too busy) An online Macintosh forum and community, exploring the Apple universe on iPhones, iPods and Mac’s, together.

    Be afraid. Be very afraid.***

    First, Paul’s site has the cheesiest name on the planet that sounds cool to prepubscent boys. Second, until recently his site design physically hurt. Go by the site and see if that was necessary. Yes I am an admin there, and besides the few satire folks like myself and Kost, I don’t see this fanaticism Paul was slathering over. It was a place for people who liked Apple, so of course the Mighty Thurrott must piss on it.

    Do you really want me to go on? I can provide an analysis of his completely mind-numbing article on the Microsoft/Apple ad campaigns.

  • dizzle

    Oh Dan, btw, this observation made me totally LOL because being in the Apple community and playing the satire role I do, I have observed this:

    “Of course, anyone who has ever stumbled upon a Mac-centric web page knows that Mac users are really the biggest bunch of unsatisfiable complainers ever. ”

    When firewire was removed from certain machines, you would have thought that someone went to houses of millions of Apple fans, dragged their family dog out into the street, shot it, and ate the raw steaming entrails. Apple fans are some of the biggest unsatisfied bitchers on the planet.

  • Bill

    dizzle, don’t even bother. daGUY is obviously Paul or some other Microsoft shill. Anyone that has never been to Paul’s blog to see his ‘icabal’ rants, or visit other Mac-centric sites that have given Paul NUMEROUS ‘jackass of the week’ awards, knows that he is an Apple basher. Don’t you find it shocking that daGUY is the only one who does not know this? Paul has even admitted to his pal Leo L. that his site ‘is not for everybody..especially Apple fans’ on one of those recent Windows weekly podcasts. He’s never read Paul’s lies about how some Apple product does not work, when other sites report just the opposite. Paul’s site is just one web ad to discourage Windows users from switching. Duh! Hi Paul, I mean daGUY! Yeh..right!

  • http://home.comcast.net/~daguy daGUY

    @Bill: “daGUY is obviously Paul or some other Microsoft shill”

    I shouldn’t even bother responding to this, but this is so ridiculous. Because I happen to not disagree with every single sentence Paul has ever said, I’m some shill imposter? You people are unbelievable.

    People are allowed to have their own opinions! But no, you can’t be satisfied with that – you won’t be happy until you go around “correcting” anyone who doesn’t agree with you 100%.

    This is exactly why I dislike these types of articles from Dan; it encourages this extreme stupidity.

    FYI – not that it matters – but in my household we have a PowerBook G4 (which is mine), an iBook G4, an iMac G4, a white MacBook, and two iPods. So yeah, I’m a total Microsoft shill, obviously.

    At the same time – I like Apple, and I like their products, but I’m not going to use them blindly if that’s not what works for me! And they’ve made plenty of flubs, too.

    Sorry this is too difficult for you to comprehend!

  • http://johnsessays.blogspot.com John Muir

    @daGUY

    Yeah. I don’t think it’s ever healthy when conversations descend into the kind of paranoia which calls people shills. Especially when it’s at distinctly geeky places like here at good old RDM, as opposed to say all of the blatant and proven shilling which goes on at certain gaming forums!

    We’re all tech enthusiasts here. I’ll take you on your word.

  • dizzle

    @daGUY

    I never said anything about a shill, so are you going to acknowledge that I have a point, or do I need to provide you further proof?

    >>At the same time – I like Apple, and I like their products, but I’m not going to use them blindly if that’s not what works for me! And they’ve made plenty of flubs, too.

    Ahh the same passive aggressive implicit insult. Who are you suggesting does what you say above? Ahhhh yes, the “jackbooters” that Paul talks about. Nazi implications are always so sweet and non-inflammatory aren’t they?

    I don’t do that either. Neither does anyone I know. What ghost are you and Paul fighting?

    I have no beef with you. But you cannot come here with the righteous indignation that Paul is a saint compared to this article. That is simply false, and Paul has earned his reputation. That doesn’t mean he is all bad, in fact, I have found some very useful information on his site. But he is not being treated any more unjustly here than he does at times to Apple. Those are simply the facts. Will it kill you to admit that?

    PS: I wish I could be a shill for Apple but alas, they turned me down. In fact, I think there might be a restraining order against me ;)

  • Bill

    No daGUY, Thurrott deceives and spreads FUD about Apple. I don’t need someone to agree with me all the time, but you are quite wrong defending him against this post. You obviously do not read his inflammatory blog posts which have been tallied to have as many as 30% anti-Apple posts recently. But don’t believe me and everyone here, just Google search things like ‘thurrott microsoft shill’ or ‘thurrott anti-apple blog’ and you will find so many hits that your head will spin. I too am allowed to disagree with you, which is why I posted it. However, it would seem that there are a multitude of those who feel that he is quite biased and unfriendly toward Apple. What I don’t understand is that since there are numerous people posting it and believing it, and proving it, why do you feel differently? It’s a little suspect. But perhaps you have not followed his flame-fest anti-Apple rants as do some of us. I don’t post at his site, but many other Mac enthusiasts post plenty of objections to his [BS and FUD] posts about Apple. Well have a nice day any way. I’ve got my eye on you! …just kidding guy. Yes, you’re entitled to your opinion, but your just plain wrong this time.

  • http://home.comcast.net/~daguy daGUY

    @Bill: “You obviously do not read his inflammatory blog posts which have been tallied to have as many as 30% anti-Apple posts recently.”

    What is this, the Red Scare? We have to go on a crusade against anyone who dares expresses their opinion if it isn’t 100% pro-Apple? Grow up.

    “However, it would seem that there are a multitude of those who feel that he is quite biased and unfriendly toward Apple. What I don’t understand is that since there are numerous people posting it and believing it, and proving it, why do you feel differently?”

    Yes, he is biased. Dan is biased. I’m biased, and so are you. Everyone is biased! You can’t avoid it. So rather than fight it, just accept it! Get information from multiple sources and form your own opinion from there. That’s what I try to do – that’s why I read this blog, listen to Paul’s podcast, etc. That’s all I’m saying. I didn’t realize this was such an offensive thing to do.

  • dizzle

    @daGUY then why did you come in guns blazing about how awful this was and act as if Paul were lily white

    I don’t know if you see this, but you really are being totally passive aggressive. Step back a second. You are as internally inconsistent as a Psystar pleading.

  • Bill

    Actually, I am not biased, but a blog allows you to share info, as well as support or refute it. Paul is a liar and spreads FUD about Apple and it’s inappropriate, especially since he accuses many others of doing it and calling them wrong. Pot meet kettle. Also, I can post what ever I want and you don’t control me. I am posting proof and the truth and you are name calling. Here is a post from his blog by another objector, revealing his anti-Apple blog headlines as well as anti-xxx [anything that competes with Microsoft]:

    The Plot to Kill Google

    Rotten Reporting about Apple

    The Apple iTunes Tax

    Onion spoofs Apple: The Macbook Wheel

    Apple Tax 2.0

    Apple: Our advertising is clearly bull@#$%. Clearly.

    Apple forced to drop iPhone ad in the UK

    $500 million in advertising??? Did I use the Jump the Shark joke already?

    Why Opera Didn’t Make It on the iPhone

    Apple is evil, part 227blog

    And someone published ” A chart showing the number posts that are anti-Apple and riddled with snide and Microsoft fanboy posts on the SuperSite for Windows blog.”
    http://i38.tinypic.com/35bti6c.png

  • Bill

    At Applematter.com ‘Four Apple Pundits You Should Never Read’. Yep Thurrott is one of them. They are polite saying that he is wrong, but his acts are obviously intentionally misguiding [lies], which is wrong for any one to do. Where’s the outrage? as he puts it. Posting true information is great, but posting FUD and lies is just plain wrong. Since I am allowed to post here, and this is America [where I live], I will post the truth when ever I wish. Not my truth, but the real truth. It’s my right. Unfortunately, there are those that feel they have the right to lie and post malicious FUD. Thurrott is one of them. Here’s the link.
    http://www.applematters.com/article/4-apple-pundits-you-should-never-read/P15/;

  • jfatz

    @edtech

    “How about an article about how Windows 7 is really Vista SP2. The sinister thing is that by calling it a new OS release instead of an SP2, Microsoft can get everyone to pay for it (again) instead of making it a free download. ”

    “Vista” simply has too much negative baggage for them right now, so this mainly reflects a desire to get the hell away from that branding name, and move people to “anything but Vista” on their new computers.

    Offhand, we don’t know the pricing model, so… Perhaps upgrades from Vista will be pretty cheap, but upgrades from earlier OSes not so much? Dunno. But it’s not like prior-to-XP they didn’t have “barely upgrades” that they charged new prices for very quick-like, and it’s not like Apple doesn’t have new OS versions in short order that it ALSO charges full price for. Microsoft really doesn’t want to follow the “XP trend” they created by delaying Longhorn/Vista so much, and “Vista” itself has such a bad rap to CONTINUE making XP their “good brand” and the fervor to get away from Vista palpable…

    It’s really just going to return to business as usual. New computers get the new OS (at likely no surcharge from current Vista pricing), just as they do on Macs, and everyone else…? Well, they get to decide if it’s worth spending the money to upgrade at some point, same as always.

    Business as usual. (Well, at least “pre-XP” business for them.)

  • http://home.comcast.net/~daguy daGUY

    @Dizzle: All I did was say I disagreed with the article, and didn’t think Paul had said anything worthy of this amount of criticism and attention. And then I praised Dan for his other articles. Go reread my original comment if you have to (#73).

    If that qualifies as “guns blazing” in your mind, then I don’t know what to tell you.

    Next time I disagree with something Dan writes, I’ll keep it to myself, since apparently people here are completely incapable of accepting the idea that someone, somewhere might have a different opinion than they do.

    At any rate, this conversation is over. I come to this site to be informed and entertained by what Dan has to say, not to have pointless arguments with a bunch of random strangers on the Internet. I have better things to do with my time.

  • dizzle

    @daGUY
    Ahhh the hurt puppy flounce routine. Right on schedule. It is you who apparently cannot admit that Paul has in fact taken things to the same level. I wonder why?

  • Joel

    jfatz: “…and it’s not like Apple doesn’t have new OS versions in short order that it ALSO charges full price for.”

    Yep, but Leopard is clearly labelled as OS X 10.5, rather saying its really OS X 11.

  • dizzle

    @joel
    You are absolutely correct. Microsoft has pretty much admitted that Vista was screwed up from the beginning, and then there is the whole “Vista Ready” debacle. If code analysis has determined that this is really VistaSP2, the suckers who paid for Vista (and I was one of them), should get it for free. Period. When MobileMe screwed up royally, Apple went above and beyond. I was happy with the first 30 days credit, it was working fine for me, but because less than 10% were still having issues they gave an additional 60 days free across the Board.

    Microsoft is trying to distance itself from the Visaster as fast as possible, but the truth is that Windows 7 (which I heard is quite good, though I doubt I will ever switch back, but I would virtualize it if it is good) is Vista if they had done it right the first time.

    The new OS versions of Apple follow the clear pattern of 10.1, .2 etc. and are NOT mop up jobs of the prior disaster.

    Sheesh, I have said multiple times here when Apple has screwed up, and when Apple is not doing the right thing. Why are the Windows fanbois here (don’t take that as an insult, I am an Apple fangrl) cannot do the same? You have absolutely no credibility until you do.

    I notice that @daGUY didn’t touch my commentary on Paul’s joke of a report on the Keynote. Because it isn’t defensible. And I notice he stayed far away from asking me to post an analysis of Paul’s rant about the ad campaign.

    Paul and Dan are getting what they dish out. And in this thread, it doesn’t seem like it is the Apple fans that are acting like the jackbooted zombies, nor flouncing off in a fit without defending one’s position.

    Apparently it would kill a certain person to admit I had a point. Flounce, exit right.

    However, I do expect the dramatic re-entrance any moment now.

  • Bill

    What happened to my last two comments?

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