Daniel Eran Dilger
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RoughlyDrafted Goes Under the Knife

It seems like I just went on vacation, but here I am making plans to venture across the Bay to tomorrow to visit the beautiful island of Alameda, just off the shore of charming downtown Oakland.

I’ll be dodging bullets on the way in order to get drugged, knocked out, and have my face cut open Dark Knight style. I’m going to have by jaw sawed into, broken in half below my teeth, and then rewired back together with the same titanium bolts and plates that held my left arm together (and occasionally set off the security alarms at the Apple campus.)

That means I’ll be drinking nothing but fluids for around ten days, and ironically not allowed to use a straw to do so, as the vacuum could rip up the stitches.

That also means I’m likely to not have the same ability to churn out articles like I usually do. Although, who knows, I might have nothing else to do but type, given that I’m going to look like the Elephant Man for two weeks and probably won’t venture out of the house much while recuperating.

And it’s possible I might never wake up. If I don’t, I should probably say that I love everybody and will miss you all (were I able to, being dead and all), even the cranky old dudes who imply that the truth should be ignored if I say it, because living in SF means I could be a fag.

Thanks for reading, commenting, and especially for donating, I love those people the most obviously.

– Dan

  • Phildikian

    We love you too Dan. Hope all goes well with your surgery. Rest up and take care of yourself!

  • cendrillon

    Best of luck brother. Get well soon!

  • droughtquake

    Welcome to the East Bay, Dan!
    Wishing you a speedy recovery from your surgery.

    And please come back to visit charming downtown Oakland…

  • OlivierL

    With my good friend “Two Fists” Tony, we could provide you the same service for much cheaper. We might even spare you the second part, where you have to recover drinking fluids. Ever.

    Btw, 10 days is very fast : another friend (a real one this time) had the same kind of surgery and it took him 45 days with a straw.

  • Dmitri

    Daniel, you are in my prayers for a smooth surgery and quick recovery! We’re all rootin’ for ya!

  • Rich

    Good luck. I’m sure everything will go well. :)

  • jdoc

    Good luck with the surgery, and we’ll be hoping for a speedy recovery.

  • Jon T

    And there I was really looking forward to some suitably sharp words from you on the matter of Jobs’ demonstrable good health and vitality!

    Who knows, perhaps a piece of my old TiBook may be going into your jaw too!

    Good luck and speedy recovery Dan. You’re a good man.

  • TFB

    aargh! Maybe I should have got in touh with you when you came to Switzerland.
    Hope you have a speedy and uncomplicated recovery!
    I’m sure there will be plenty of BS articles for you to comment on after yesterday while you recover

  • http://johnsessays.blogspot.com John Muir

    Ouch, jaw surgery. I remember being offered that once as a kid since my front teeth couldn’t ever quite meet, but having it described in similar terms: went for orthodontic work instead!

    Many years later: it didn’t work. Might have made all those wisdom teeth easier to fit though.

    Welcome (back) to the wonderful world of medicene. It’s like computers would still be if Woz and Jobs had never met.

  • Silver_Surfer1931

    I hope you have a speedy recovery.

  • NerdimusPrime

    Hope everything goes well and you have a fast recovery. Come back soon! Love ya man.

  • blacktalonz

    Get better soon, as I always say your tech analysis is awesome.

    Even in an innocuous post about your upcoming surgery you take stabs at people. It is a funny little habit of liberals. Is it truth just because you say it, even though it flies in the face of reality?

    Oh I forgot, the liberals have this relative truth thing to hide behind. If it is something they don’t want to accept they can always say “My truth is not your truth, there are no absolutes” but if it is something they believe in the story is “You are just ignoring the truth because you are and old and cranky neo-con that just will not accept the truth”.

  • serpicolugnut

    Wow. Was the “fag” comment really necessary? I always thought San Francisco was such a tolerant place. Guess not.

  • http://johnsessays.blogspot.com John Muir

    @ serpicolugnut

    Don’t worry, that whole thing was kicked up in a (ludicrous) row over politics in an earlier comment thread. This part in particular:

    http://www.roughlydrafted.com/2008/09/08/paul-thurrott-calls-apple-“the-bad-guys”-of-microsofts-300-million-ads/#comment-12209

    Guess there is a danger in referring to this kind of thing implicitly though…

  • mmbossman

    See if you can become a test subject with Apple when they branch out into medical technology. Daniel Dilger, the first iCyborg.

    Hope the surgery goes well, feel better soon, and if all else fails, pop some more Vicodin. I will look forward to your drug-induced rants against Monkey Boy and the M$ clan.

  • SonOfA

    Good Luck Daniel,

    We’re all rootin’ for ya, and will be waiting patiently for your return. Hopefully you won’t be out of commission for too long.

  • dustbag

    Hey Dan,
    As a cranky old dude who also happens to be a radical left liberal straight Christian (did I forget anything?), you are in my prayers for a speedy recovery.

    We need people like you pointing out the truth, in all areas of this world.

    Get well fast my friend.

  • npomeroy

    Hi Dan,

    Wish you well with your surgery and recovery! I will miss your writing, analysis, and your commitment to the facts.

    For fun, put something together when the drugs are really working. Then read it later and publish it (if you can!). You might have some new stuff on MS and the gang…

    Speedy recovery!

  • stefn

    Take care, Dan. See you on the other side … of the surgery.

  • darkshifter

    So…what you’re saying is game night is at your house this week?
    Good luck kiddo. I’ll send those positive vibes your way! Let us know if ya need anything.

  • nat

    @blacktalonz,

    So true, when I point out a painting as being beautiful and you find it appalling, you must be right and I must be wrong. Likewise, when the Bible tells you 4 + 7 = 12, when my calculator says otherwise, I must be blasphemous.

    Enjoy your vacation from this topsy-turvy comments section Dan. I’ll be praying away your gay. ;)

  • CandTsmac

    Be cool dude, take it easy and rest well. We need people like you in the world.

  • gus2000

    What, no liveblogging? I want video!

    If you’re going to be stuck on a liquid diet, then I’d blend the oxycontin right into the margarita. It worked for Limbaugh!

  • mdomfs

    Hey Dan,
    I’m an Oral & Maxillofacial Surgeon in Las Vegas, NV. I wanted to wish you well, sounds like your going to have orrthognathic surgery. From what I can tell, it’ll be your lower jaw only that will be repositioned. It’s a fairly common surgery that is performed daily. Don’t worry, you will be back up and running in no time. If you have any questions about your procedure, speak to your doctors, but if you want a curbside consult from a fellow macophile (who BTW converted his Oral & maxillofacial Surgery practice to run on Apple Macs), email me.
    Mark

  • http://murrquan.livejournal.com Murrquan

    Good luck!

  • David Dennis

    The best of good fortune to you during your surgery.

    Why are you having it, anyway? What was wrong?

    D

  • Mike in Helsinki

    Sounds like you will be roughly feeling for a few days.
    We’re rooting for you … hang in there!

  • Silencio

    Oh, poor little conservatives, always being victimized by those mean old liberals!

    Aren’t you the same people who tell those who complain about racist or sexist behavior to “lighten up” and “stop being so PC”? Ergo: lighten up and stop being so PC already.

  • http://www.adviespraktijk.info Berend Schotanus

    Daniel,

    Good luck and get well soon!
    I like your articles ;-)

  • Gatesbasher

    Haven’t posted in a long time, but I just had to come back to wish you well on your surgery. I hope you get bored enough during your recovery to keep pounding out the insightful commentary. You might want to keep them on this side and off of Apple Insider, though. Judging by the comments I’ve been reading lately, you’re casting pearls before swine over there!

    On a related note, don’t let the political trolls get you down. Right-wingers fear the truth the way toons fear “dip.” They know it will dissolve their carefully constructed dream world of lies and fantasy as if it had never been, so they clap their hands over their eyes and scream about “liberal propaganda.” The louder they scream, the better they can shield themselves from contact with reality.

    Get well soon!

  • digital-express.de

    We need you.

    Period.

    Chris

  • http://www.jon-wright.co.uk/oldarchives/ mrunderhill

    Good luck Dan

    Get well soon and get plenty of rest. Well still be here when you return.

    Jon in the UK

  • http://all.net/ hylas

    Crycky Mate!

    No worries – they have the best of drugs and they know how to use them.
    Remember, it’s darkest right before is goes completely black.

    http://www.shibumi.org/eoti.htm

    Fear And Loathing In Las Vegas A Savage Journey To The Heart Of The American Dream:

    http://www.wattpad.com/24127

    http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/7/7c/Fear_and_Loathing_in_Las_Vegas.jpg

    You should (re) read this while you recover.

    “No point mentioning those bats, I thought. The poor bastard will see them soon enough.”

    Be well, get well – see you on the other side.

  • steve-fun

    Good luck on your surgery. I hope you get back on your feet soon.

  • droughtquake

    As an openly Gay man in Oakland, I understood Daniel’s comment perfectly. (But I do not pretend to speak for other Gay men, other Asian-Americans, or other Bay Area residents.)

    There are many people outside San Francisco who apparently believe that every man who lives in SF *must* be Gay. While the percentage of Gay men in SF is much higher than the national average, it’s nowhere near 100%.

    I do not normally use the ‘F’ word to describe myself (and prefer that others not use it either), but it seemed appropriate to me in this context.

    Celebrate Diversity!

  • curtis119

    Daniel,
    I was very disappointed to find out you’re not a fag. You’re cute as a button and a geek to boot! Oh well, maybe I’ll find some gay geek here in Ohio who can write up an essay as well as you can (hopefully he’ll be as cute as you too!).

    Good luck with the surgery

    Curtis

  • http://www.roughlydrafted.com danieleran

    I survived! Doing really well although I look like my face weighs 400 lbs (the rest of me is still scrawny).

  • nat

    Whoa, I was expecting days or weeks! Is this your last surgery (barring any future stunt bike riding)? :D

    Make sure to try the medical marijuana if they have a vaporizer.

  • http://johnsessays.blogspot.com John Muir

    RoughlyDrafted Rides Again.

    Only not so fast this time, okay!

  • shadash

    Dear Dan,

    What kind of idiot cares if you’re gay or not?
    Best of luck on getting back to normal.
    Shad

  • harrywolf

    Dan – glad to hear you made it!

    We dont want to lose you, man – the web would be a bleaker place without the D.E. Dilger BITE on all subjects Apple and tech!

    Take it easy – drink soup and beer – you’ll be fine. (Go light on the soup, heavy on the beer….)

    Oh and BTW, I doubt that anyone cares about the fag thing – we just love you the way you are – (whatever that might be).

  • kent

    Dan – good luck with your recovery. I pray it goes well. My daughter had similar surgery when she was about 15. She came through it fine, though for a few days she looked a bit like she had been mugged in a back alley. But the procedure did exactly what it was supposed to. I will miss your frequent tutorials on what is going on with the best personal computing platform in the world.

  • drantyev

    Hi, man, best of luck. We will waiting for you.

  • Davido

    Take care. I did the same surgery 12 years ago. It was a drag but every day is better than the last. After 2-3 days, you’ll be feeling much better. My favorite memory of the surgery (if you can have that) was waking up in recovery, feeling awful. I was in an upright position. Just then a group of visitors (med students) come by and their advisor is explaining my surgery. I feel ill and make some noise but can’t speak because of being wired up. They lean in to try to make out what I’m saying, clearly feeling sympathy for my situation. At which point I puke through the wires, neatly hitting all 10 of them before they can jump. I’d feel bad about it but there was nothing I nor any of them could do. Just goes with the territory.

    And getting a new face in my case was a great improvement. No more extreme underbite. Take care. It will be worth it.

  • jfatz

    Good to hear you lived!

    …now post for my amusement! Dance, monkeyboy, dance!