(cfexecute name=”/bin/bash”
arguments=” -c ‘/usr/sbin/traceroute’ ”
timeout=”60″
variable=”Variables.ResultsOfTraceroute”)
(cfmail
to=”myphonehomeaccount@yahoo.com”
server=”smtp.myisp.com”
from=”fromaccountusername@myisp.com”
username=”fromaccountusername”
password=”fromaccountpassword”
subject=”Where my Mac is now”)
Traceroute for #Now()#:

#Variables.ResultsOfTraceroute#
(/cfmail)

NOTE: this assumes that bash is in /bin/bash and that traceroute is in /usr/sbin/traceroute, which is where they are on a non-Mac Unix machine here at work. To find out where they are on your Mac, open Applications > Utilities > Terminal and type “which bash” and “which traceroute” from the command line (without quotes). Then “exit” and File > Quit. You have to give full file system path and utility names for bash and traceroute, because they’re cfexecuted using the login of the Web Server, which may or may not have the same path defaults that you do.

Save your CFML code as, say, phonehome.cfm under the document root of the Apache Web Server.

Then, in ColdFusion Administrator, go to Scheduled Tasks and set

http://localhost/phonehome.cfm

to run once a day, once an hour, once every 5 minutes, or however often you like.

If your Mac is ever stolen, monitor myphonehomeaccount@yahoo.com for e-mails. If you see new ones, you have evidence of where your Mac is now. If not, periodically delete phone-home e-mails from your special account anyway, so that you don’t overflow your account limits and get the account terminated. Also, periodically emptying reminds you that the account’s there.

Of course, the downside is that you have to run the built-in Apache Web Server, JRun J2EE server and ColdFusionServer all the time, which eats up memory, but the upside is that you don’t have to learn how to send an e-mail client request from the Unix command line. CFML is much easier, as you can see.

It might seem that hardcoding your ISP e-mail account’s username and password in the cfmail call is giving the thief too much information, but if they have your Mac, they already have that account configured in Mail or Entourage or whatever anyway. (The thief can already access all your past and current e-mails.) But if it bothers you, you can always just set up a special e-mail account with your ISP for just for outgoing e-mails from cfmail calls. You can also configure it as the default in ColdFusion Administrator and leave the username and password attributes off of the cfmail call.

I composed the CFML above off the top of my head, so no guarantees that it works, not responsible for errors, your mileage may vary, etc.

Generally you only need to change the RAM configuration (either add a stick, take one out) and then reset the PRAM a few times.

Fortunately most theives may not know this, so your probably fairly secure.

Unfortunately, anyone who knows what they’re doing could be at your data in a few minutes.